My Search for Irish Roots That Turned Up Surprises — And Sorrow
My mother embraced all issues Irish: shamrocks, soda bread and fishermen’s sweaters. She chose St. Patrick’s Day for my father’s funeral and, the night time earlier than, she mended the previous green, white and orange flag so we could fly it on the house during a reception following the service. My mother might let you know the names of the villages in Cork, Kerry and Limerick where her grandparents had been born, and i knew my dad’s individuals have been from County Tyrone in Northern Eire.
I would all the time been told I was 100 percent Irish and i believed it each St. Patrick’s Day of my life — until now. I lately ran my DNA and the shocking outcomes, which estimate I’m ninety four percent Irish, point out the share might even be as low as 81. Surprisingly, I’ve DNA from Finland/Northwest Russia, but I’ve a feeling these ancestors go so far back I’ll by no means find them.
Perhaps that Nordic hint is what saved my father from being the flag-waving, leprechauns and Erin go bragh sort of person my mom was. He cherished the Irish playwrights Sean O’Casey and George Bernard Shaw, displayed a family coat of arms with the motto spectemur agendo (let us be judged by our deeds), and had even kissed the Blarney Stone as younger man, however he by no means appeared to care that much about his heritage.
Long before he met my mother, my father was a monk. He wore an extended, black habit and a big cross round his neck. He lived in the company of other religious men, prayed morning, noon and night time, and taught in Catholic boys schools. After sixteen years of piety, he walked away — or fairly sailed away, leaving a French monastery and landing on the port of new York simply as his dad and mom had once they arrived in the United States from Eire within the early twentieth Century.
As a member of a religious order, Dad had taken a vow of poverty, chastity and obedience — perhaps a vow of silence, too, because he never revealed much in the way of family secrets. Or maybe, because of his own dad and mom’ silence, he merely by no means knew the tragic stories I’ve unearthed by exploring our household historical past.
My paternal grandparents are a thriller to me. I have a strand of pearls that belonged to my grandmother who, my dad once mentioned, fastened rice pudding on washday. All I knew of my grandfather stemmed from one meager recollection — a passing remark that his father had been an indignant, sad man from whom my dad had as soon as hidden under the kitchen table to keep away from a beating.
Oh, how I wish I might been curious enough at the time to ask for more! As a substitute, when my curiosity was piqued years later, my dad and his siblings have been gone and it was too late to beg for details.
Indignant and sad. Presumably violent. That was all I needed to go on, and as soon as my analysis began turning up ships’ manifests, census information and loss of life certificates, I began to determine why.
My grandfather’s journey to America from Northern Eire began with a forbidden affair that took a tragic turn. Charles was 18 when he climbed out the bedroom window of a County Tyrone farmhouse to elope with his neighbor, Mary, who was five years older. I discovered this when my cellphone rang at 6 o’clock one morning. An Irish cousin I didn’t know existed was on the road.
“My granny and your granddad have been brother and sister!” he introduced in his thick brogue.
He’d tracked me down after seeing my profile on Ancestry.com. My cousin told me our family and Mary’s had been feuding for years. My nice grandmother had forbidden Charles’ and Mary’s romance, but they defied her and sailed to New York to be married. When he got here by way of Ellis Island, my grandfather had simply $10 in his pocket and an admonition: “Don’t hassle coming back so long as you are married to her.”
Charles and Mary’s fairytale was brief-lived. By census and loss of life data, I discovered that inside 5 years, that they had four children. Only two survived, then Mary succumbed to a chronic kidney ailment, leaving Charles a 23-yr-outdated widower with two younger kids. He had an 8th stone island army tex field jacket grade schooling and was ceaselessly unemployed.
After Mary’s demise, Charles left his three-yr-outdated son in America with a relative and sailed again to Ireland with his four-yr-outdated daughter, Rose. I discovered them on the ship’s manifest and wondered what an eight-day journey throughout the choppy Atlantic would have been like for somewhat lady. Was she frightened Missing her mother Was she heat sufficient
Months later, Charles returned to New York without Rose, leaving her at the household homestead in Tyrone to be raised by an aunt. My grandfather married once more — my grandmother, one other Mary. Discovering her roots has been difficult. She fudged her age on paperwork, claiming she was two years younger than my grandfather when, in reality, she was two years older. I would been instructed she was Irish. She was, however British census paperwork show she was really born in London and was just eight-years-old when her mom died. Her father was a Constable for Scotland Yard throughout Queen Victoria’s reign. Funny, no one ever talked about there was a policeman within the household!
When poor Rose lastly got here back to New York from Northern Eire at age 19, the little brother she’d barely known had died of a coronary heart condition. Charles and my grandmother had five extra youngsters together with my father, the youngest. Before he was born, they misplaced a son at age 2 to scarlet fever.
I doubt my father ever knew about his lifeless siblings, however I wonder if he in some way carried a way of intrinsic grief. I might uncovered the deaths unintentionally and one at a time, however even a era removed, the lack of these kids stings me. Each was a shock, pricking my coronary heart with sadness and awakening my compassion for a mysterious grandfather who came to this country like thousands and thousands of others in search of a great and the promise of a greater life. As a substitute, he outlived 4 of his children, abandoned one for 15 years, and misplaced the love of his life. That’s enough to interrupt anyone’s Irish heart.